When Stephanie and I first got together, one of the most important things I did to guarantee her sexual pleasure was to learn how to make the best use of my fingers. I found that good finger sex techniques are critical to not only for Steph’s sexual pleasure but also getting her ready for even greater sexual pleasure. And it just plain feels good – for both of us.
Why Sex Fingering?
Sexual pleasure is the obvious reason for fingering your woman as a part of foreplay. Steph says that being on the receiving end of good fingering is amazing. She, like many women can have really fantastic orgasms just from fingering alone.
But, another important reason for fingering is to actually get her ready to accommodate me when I actually enter her. In order to have a man’s penis inside, a woman’s vagina must “open up” from its normal closed, unaroused state, and must have sufficient lubrication to let her man, “slide in” without hurting. Guys, our fingers do both of these by turning her on more… which makes her vagina open and elongate to accommodate us and become wetter as more lubrication is produced. And Steph says that she gets more, “emotionally ready” to have me inside after I’ve, “warmed her up” with my fingers
One finger or Two?
Most men start sex fingering a woman with just one finger. This can be a good start to getting her, “opened up” and “lubricated” to make the big show more comfortable and enjoyable. But, once arousal starts, step her pleasure up by using another finger. With two fingers in her, try pushing up to massage her G-Spot… Steph really loves when I get to this part.
And don’t limit yourselves to one finger when pleasuring her clitoris. Here is some real fun. If you woman is used to you using only one finger on this hot spot, try using two to double her pleasure. Use two fingers to rub her clitoris. Go in circles. Or to really send her through the roof, take her clitoris between your two fingers and lightly “roll it” (let her tell you how much or how little). Or we both really enjoy it when I use two fingers inside to massage her G-Spot while I use my thumb to massage her clitoris… took me a while to get that one down, but both Steph and I REALLY enjoy it! And never forget, of course, what you are doing with your lips and tongue while you are finger stimulating her… and you.
In and Around… Around and Out
Steph never lets me underestimate the power of stimulating her vagina. My kind of vaginal stimulation really sets her up for having me in her. Some of you, of a certain age, will remember the hokey pokey – a really inane early line dance. But for finger sex, it makes great sense. You “put your fingers in, and move them all about” in kind of a circular motion. It’s kind of like simulating intercourse with your fingers. This is just one way to drive her wild with vaginal stimulation without even, “going for the gold” of her G-Spot.
Rockin’ with Your Palms and Heels
One thing many of us guys don’t think about when sex fingering, is how we can use our palms or the heels of our hands. Steph likes it when I softly rub my palm against her clitoris and up and down her labia. She has me pretty well trained as to how hard to rub, but it’s really easy. On the other hand (heh, heh…) using the heel of your hand to rub the clitoris while your fingers are in her can really put her up and over for a mighty orgasm – hopefully one of many. So, when fingering… use your whole hand for her ultimate pleasure.
Two Hands Are Better Than One
Here’s a finger sex multi-stimulation game we play. You might think that it takes extreme coordination and experience to use both hands while fingering your woman but really… you can do it. In fact, there are so many pleasure spots a woman’s genital area that using both hands is probably one of the hottest things you can do. Try this: insert your finger… or fingers… into her. Then use your other hand for gentle stimulation everywhere else at the same time. Stimulate her clitoris. Rub her labia. And don’t forget about your thumbs. They can be a very useful addition to the stimulation party you are having around the flower of her womanhood.
Bonus Tip: Listen While She Tells You How You’re Doing
Your partner will tell you what works and what doesn’t (remember, not all women like all things – we are required to listen and learn to what she likes and doesn’t like). Women’s bodies and their voices express their pleasure, even when they’re too busy to know. So when we give sex with fingers, it’s up to us to pay attention. If she gives you a pleasure moan or pushes closer, do more of that. If she squirms and tries to pull back, well, don’t do that. I know you don’t want to spend so much time thinking, and more time doing… but learning your partner’s signs, both positive and negative, will lead to happier love making and deeper relationships.
Now that we’ve had our first handful of sex fingering tips, we’ll go for another handful of these exciting techniques in our next post.